![]() Stop focusing on the negative or insulting the child in public, but don’t be a victim either. Do not lock the child up, threaten, or tease them about the behaviour,” warns Vats.ĭ’mello says, “practise deep-breathing techniques and train your child to do the same. “Do not lose your temper aggression does not respond to anger. However if the aggression continues, consult a counselor,” says D’mello.īoth D’mello and Vats agree that it’s important to make rules for the child - an agreement between you and the child about what is not acceptable, and compliment the child when they achieve it. “In order to make the child understand the situation, the teacher has to give subtle cues or signs without embarrassing him/ her. After 15 days, she didn’t have to shadow him any longer, and involved him in regular activities. At the end of the day, she’d tell him what he did well and where he could have done better. Then, she’d follow him around, holding his hand. Every day, the teacher would greet him, take him aside, and give him a high-five after telling him about two rules: no sitting on the shelf and no hurting others. To sort this out, the teacher started shadowing the child by holding his hand and gently pulling him away when he would try to reach for another child. When the teachers got him down, he’d hit and punch other children. When three-year-old Advait Joshi came to class, he’d sit on top of the shelves. As a teacher, my role is to empathise with the child and help them understand what is going on,” says Dhotre. “Pre-primary children are too young to understand or verbalise what they are experiencing. She also asks parents to do the same at home. Mitchelle D’mello, Psychologist and psychotherapistĭhotre, along with the school’s counsellor, devises a friendly plan to engage aggressive children in her class in activities or conversation. “See what happens when they don’t get what they want, check how they interact with others of their age, and get feedback from school,” recommends D’mello. Parents need to watch out for repeated acts of belligerence: screaming, pushing, hitting and harming others or oneself, or throwing things. In fact, use any irritating situation to positively demonstrate to the child how to deal with the same.” “Parents who have aggressive children must look into their own behaviour patterns first,” says D’mello.ĭr Samir Dalwai, developmental paediatrician, Hinduja Healthcare, says, “We all get angry and upset, but avoid a display of anger and aggression in the presence of the child. Interventions revealed that the child was projecting her mother’s behaviour. Psychological assessment showed the mother was frustrated with her marriage and was also bipolar. Take the case of 14-year-old Shruti Vyas, who would hit her mother every time she was angry. Psychologist and psychotherapist Mitchelle D’mello says, “Kids are quick learners and pick up cues of verbal and physical abuse from the family.” The child will naturally feel overwhelmed and may resort to being aggressive,” she says.Īggression also stems from anger perceived in the environment of the child. “A new baby a change in the family a new teacher too many emotionally-draining milestones together - toilet training, eating on their own, or going to daycare. It’s important to trace how it all started. “The first one needs love, and the second one needs firmness,” points out Vats. The first step is to find out what’s driving it,” she says.Ĭhildren get aggressive for many reasons, but the two most important ones are lack of attention and too much attention. Aggression in kids can be a symptom of several underlying problems, arising out of different psychiatric conditions, medical problems, and life circumstances. “Behavioural issues in three to six-year-olds must be handled with extra care from the social cognitive development point of view. Sheetal Dhotre, a pre-primary teacher, keeps an eye out for the tell-tale signs and frequency of aggressive behaviour in the children in her class. However, one can never be too careful when it comes to the little one’s emotional wellbeing. So we should handle a three-year-old differently from say, a eight-year-old,” she adds. By age five, children have learnt social manners and have an understanding of ‘not to hurt others’. “For instance, when two to four-yearolds push someone, it is because they lack impulse control and cannot wait for their turn. There’s a need to know what kind of behaviour is age-appropriate and what’s not, she says. If a child cannot sit straight for long or pushes someone in the park - they are labelled aggressive,” says Dr Swati Popat Vats, president, Early Childhood Association. “Nowadays, naughty children are called aggressive. When is a child naughty and when is he/ she being aggressive? There’s a thin line between the two, which parents and teachers need to tread with understanding and caution. There are many reasons behind a kid’s aggressive behavior.
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